mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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