I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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