I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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