WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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