are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
