We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
