Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
