I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
