You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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