I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
