In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
It was a blind-side dick pic.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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