You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
