mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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