Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
