he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
