I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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