You're so nebulous sometimes
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize