Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
