Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
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The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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