his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
