Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
