I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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