So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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