I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
