i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize