Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
