Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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