highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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