is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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