no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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