I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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