its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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