i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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