i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
