He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
