Apparently you make a good broom.
I smell stomach acid.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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