You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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