We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
it glows. i had to have it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
