Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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