the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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