obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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