so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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