I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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