so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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