we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The adults are the big ones right?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
