i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
