in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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