My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
handjob tips. give me some.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
