Jerry, you need to find god
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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