Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize