Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a roof
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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