we're blogging at a bar
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
