I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
