And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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