Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
