your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
COCAINE IS GR8
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