dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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