he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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