with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
