I hate all girls vehemently.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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