how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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