I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
