dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize