we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize